nataliekresen's posterous - Filed under 'dance'

Hate, Love, and the Genius of Children

Dear Potential Reader of my Friday blog post,

Do you swim the murky waters of confusion? Drown in pools of thought? I do. For a few years I've been thinking that life is silence and chaos, always in rapid succession. I really think there is truth in this. Silence and chaos, dancing together, interweaving, stepping on each other's toes, spinning and turning on a whim, at the drop of a hat, at the mercy of the one leading.

I took a ballroom dance class in college. My partner was pompous and righteous with two left feet. We'd have debates that would turn heated as we pranced across the floor during the Viennese Waltz, these discussions would turn into yelling by the time we'd moved on to the Tango and we'd give up, laughing, while whipping around turns in the Polka (which was, of course, my favorite). I despised this guy and at the same time enjoyed him. We'd fight and then he'd ride me home on his motorcycle. Both gave me a rush. It was one of the few relationships with an equal mix of like and dislike. What an oxymoron, how can you like and also dislike the same person? Or thing for that matter, I also feel this way about vodka, whipped cream, cigarettes, dark chocolate, and slipper socks.

This is where I think confusion gets its fuel. Your mind decides it loves something while at the same time it hates it. And we're left to our own devices as to how to navigate through that. Hmmmmm how the hell are we ever supposed to know what we want? Maybe eeine-meenie-minnie-mo wasn't such a bad game, maybe it was genius in helping one arrive to a decision. Shaking the magic 8 ball is another way to give us clarity or having a friend hold the two decisions behind his back in closed fists for us to choose from works too. Fuck free thought, the children have something right. They cut out all the analyzations, all the well/maybe/but/or/what abouts and leave it to games, intuition, irrationality. And they seem awfully happy, licking their ice cream cones and running around the lawn.